Monday, December 14, 2009

I'd marry you again

Today as I was playing with Calvin I glanced up and Drew and I's wedding picture caught my eye. I smiled to myself and briefly thought about the last 2 1/2 years we've spent married. Tears silently rolled down my face and I hugged Calvin and told him how much I loved his Daddy. I wake up every morning to a hungry baby and a smiling hubby. He kisses me before he goes to work. I play with our love child:) and eagerly wait to hear his voice when he calls at lunch. And I always look forward to him coming home. We spend our nights just the three of us. We put our baby to bed and spend time talking and laughing about what the day has held. We fall asleep snuggled up together. When Drew says "I love you" right before he falls asleep I smile because I know it's true.

Life as married, new parents is not always easy. I have screamed at the top of my lungs for my deep sleeping husband to wake up at 2 am and help me with our 18 pd. baby boy. I have cried in his arms after a hard day at home. I have been overwhelmed and been so thankful when Drew walks in with take out. It's hard, but it's good. Our laughs way outweigh the tears. Our love way outweighs the hard times. Our life is better than it was 5 years ago at Zaxby's when Drew told me he wanted to date me. We're best friends. There is no one I would rather "do" life with. And we're making our family. We're not perfect, but each day life gets better. Life is about this...loving Jesus, my family, serving the local church, spreading the good news.

So, yeah. I'd marry you again. I would not change one thing about our life. If we live to be 81..we will have been married 60 years. And I pray to look at you the same way I do now. Full of love and living in the moment together. And hopefully, with lots of grandbabies and great-grandbabies running around us. Christ is good. So, is marriage.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

My heart is breaking for you

Gather Round, Ye Children Come Listen to the Old, Old Story.........

God made man in His image.  Adam and Eve lived with God in perfect unity.  They ate freely from the tree of Life.  Adam and Eve walked with God.  The reality of God was before their faces.  Adam and Eve rebelled against their Creator and the lover of their souls.  Adam and Eve  were cast out of the garden.  They could no longer eat from the tree of Life.  Death, terror, murder, anxiety, rape, hunger entered the world.  The horror Adam and Eve must have felt can not be thought of.  They remembered what they had left and they knew they must raise their children in this fallen world.  We are the sons of Adam and Eve.  Far removed from the garden.  We still live in a fallen world.  We read the stories of the priests offering sacrifices for the sins of the people.  We see the picture from early on in Genesis that blood must be paid for sins.  Sin must be punished.  God in His great mercy sent His Son to redeem His children back to Himself.  His Son came, lived a perfect life,  took on the sins of all those who would believe, He died, but on the third day, HE ROSE.  He rose victorious over sin.  God's children can now return to Him.  No more would the blood of animals be needed.  The blood of Christ paid the penalty in full.  For everyone who would repent and believe new life is offered.  The children of God now have full access to the true of life once more through the blood of Christ.  How good is this story, how true is this story.  I forget this story.  I take this story for granted.  I forget it when I go to sleep at night.  Won't you remind me in the morning.  Won't you remind me of reality?  The reality that Christ is truly Risen and seated at the Right hand of God the Father.  That we serving a living Christ, a loving Christ.  

We must get back to the basics.  Scripture is true.  The story that God has penned really does penetrate hearts and transform sinners.  I need no other knowledge outside of the saving knowledge of God's word.  Is the story making a difference in your life?  Is it making a difference in my life?  Do I daily remember the story?  It tells me all I need to know:  where I came from, where I am now, and where I am headed.  

We get into trouble when we leave the story.  When we venture beyond the Word.  Philosophy will not save the soul.  The gospel that I make up or even the one I believe won't save the soul.  The gospel of Jesus Christ, found in the inspired Word of God will save the soul.  

Don't forsake the Word of God.  Don't venture beyond it's pages.  To the seminarian who spends all day huddled over a book, who can recite the 5 points of Calvinism but can't remember the last time he/she shared the gospel....return to the pages of Scripture.  We are called to action.  To the postmodern believer...STOP, return to the literal, inspired Word of God.  Don't forsake truth.  Don't by into Satan's lies that all roads lead to the same place or the notion that God will let everyone in.  Read the pages of Scripture.  Cling to the story, forsake lies, be moved to action.  Scream at the top of your lungs like the prophet Ezekiel..."Why would you die O man, why would you die."

I have often found that people tend to cling to one verse of Scripture.  I do believe this is beneficial.  But how much more beneficial to cling to the story as a whole.  We need the whole story.  Example:  If you go on visit someone in the hospital.  Don't run in with Romans 8:28...they are living this fact there hearts probably ring truer with the truth of this verse than yours.  Take the story.  The reason why sickness feels so wrong is because we were made for eternity.  We weren't meant for sickness.  Sickness is a result of the fall.  But God has redeemed and has a purpose even in sickness.  Our bodies will be raised one day.  Our souls have been remade.  Now we cry, death where is your sting.  Because we are headed back to Eden.  This is reality....Christ is victorious even over sickness.

I love the song below:  Remember it's true.  Live life in the reality of Jesus the story He has written.  Tell yourself it's true..

In your heart you hope it's true
Though you hold no expectation
In the deepest part of you
there's an open hesitation

But it's true
Kingdoms and crowns
The God who came down
To find you

Sunday, August 9, 2009

"This is my season."

A mentor of mine told me while I was pregnant "Enjoy your season.  It's short and enjoy it."  What she was meaning of course is that this little boy I was about ready to give birth to would grow quickly.  And that I had a window or season for me to be the most central person in his life.  I remember these words daily.  It's why I decided to not go back to work even though money would be tight.  This is my season.  It will be for some time.  But I am aware that the day will come when I will release the arrow that I sweated over into the world.  I pray for the woman he will marry daily.  His life is before my eyes.  I pray for a balance of mothering that will allow me to love him deeply but give him up joyfully.  I look into these big blue eyes and see such a future.  A future of standing behind him rooting him on.  Of loving my son unconditionally.  Of picking him up when he falls.  Of guiding his life.  By grace pointing him to the cross.  Of one day by grace seeing him bow His knee to King Jesus.  
I can see it in mothers eyes when I walk past.  Eyes of remembering when they held their children as infants.  Longing eyes that want to remember what it was like to be a new mom.   Eyes that have proudly watch their children age.  I see through their eyes to hearts that have stored up precious memories of their children.  I think it's why all mothers love to hold newborn babies.  
I pray for no regrets here.  I pray to savor every second.  To cherish every moment.  To never wish him to be older or to be at the next stage of parenting.  "This is my season."  I refuse to let it pass by without notice.  I will store up my memories and understand the treasures they are.  I will pray him through every step of his life God-willing.  And one day by grace I will be ready to let him go with no regrets.  The "this is my season" advice is one of the best pieces of advice I have received.  I'm actively storing away memories of him.  The way he smiles first thing in the morning.  The way he lovingly looks at Drew and I.  The precious face he makes when Drew showers him.  The way he kicks his legs when he gets excited.  Memories of him nursing.  The first time he rolled over, the first time him laughed, etc. 
We took Cal swimming yesterday.  It was SO much fun.  He loved it!  Didn't cry at all.  I even put him almost all the way under.  He looked at me like "I trust you Mom."  I personally believe we have the most adorable baby in the world:)  Have I said yet that I absolutely LOVE staying home.  Best job I have ever had!  I'm so thankful that I'm able to stay home this year.  

Thursday, July 30, 2009

wow...i can't believe it's almost AUGUST!!

Where has the summer gone????  Can you believe it's almost August??  I'm sitting here looking at my hubby prepare for a new school year.  It seems like just yesterday we were weathering the ice storm and my belly was huge.  We were longing for summer to be here and to meet our little squirt.  Now, the summer is almost over and I can't imagine life without Baby Cal.  We have had absolutely the BEST summer ever.  We have spent so much time together.  Had tons of walks, tons of late nights, and really been blessed to have been able to have so much time to get used to our house of 3.  Drew and I have been able to watch our son grow from a 7 pound squirt to a 16 pd. chunk.  We are so in love with him.  We fight over who gets to go in a get him up to eat.  We both love how cute and snuggly he is when you pick him up...we both want to be the one who gets the first smile after a long nap.  Our friends (Annie and Eli) had a precious baby girl a few days ago...who will one day be my daughter in law:)  She is so cute.  We both couldn't believe how little she was.  I still think of Calvin as being a few days old.
He's 3 months old...that is so INSANE!!!!  He rolls over and smile and coos.  He has just started laughing.  I adore this age.  I love it more and more every day.  I love being a momma.  And I love watching Drew be a Daddy.  He is such a natural.  We have approached everything in our marriage as teamwork and parenting has been no different.  We have grown even closer and fallen more in love over these past 3 months.  There is no way I could do this without him.  I am so excited about our life together and one day meeting the rest of our babies:)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

whew...the hardest work of all time:)

Well...Baby Cal got his shots today.  Two shots one in each leg.  Daddy laughed...mommy picked him right up and tried to comfort him.  So weird that you take your healthy baby into the doctor and leave with screaming and fussy.  He has continued the fussiness:(  But he is snuggling with me..which little Calvin is usually very independent.  SO, I am enjoying that.  

I can't believe how our lives have changed these last 9 weeks.  We have gone from complaining and not being able to function on less than 9 hours of restful sleep to having a party and feeling like I could run a marathon on 5 hours of sleep.  Our conversations use to revolve around the latest happenings in the world now we talk about how many or how big Cal's last poopie was:)  We would pick up and go whenever we wanted now all the entertainment we need is laying on the Poppy smiling back at us.  Our nightly walks have become our "big" outing.  Our proudest moments the past few months have been the doctor saying good job or the lady at the grocery counter announcing how handsome he is.  Everything is different...I mean everything!  Some days I cry right along with Cal.  Some days I just hold him wishing he would stay this small forever.  Some days I cry out for him to be old enough to take care of himself.  It's a whirlwind.  It's stinkin hard.  It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.  We fail...we fail bad every single day.  We love it...we love him.  We rely on each other.  We rely on grace.  We rely totally on Jesus and when we begin to move from the cross our failures bring us right back.  Calvin, outside of Daddy and Jesus there is no one I love more.  I'll gladly give up everything we did before, every moment of silence, ever hour of precious sleep to have you in our lives.  We love our little man and he is teaching us SOO much.  I'm getting a little glimpse of what selfless love means.  He may need me to change his diaper, to get out of bed, to feed him, to comfort him, but I need him so much more.  Pray for this stay at home mommy.  Pray that I would enjoy every single moment of this stage.  That I won't wish it away.  Pray that I look more like Jesus through learning how to be a parent.  Pray that our marriage, our home, our hearts bring our King great glory.  

I'll have Drew post some pics of Cal Cal..he is getting so big...13 pounds, 24 inches.  He smiles so much.  He does the cutest things.  He makes himself known by cooing all the time.  He likes his bed and doesn't want to be held when he's tired.  We are starting to see his personality shine through...and if you know Drew and I well then pray for his stubborn little soul:)  We're going to have our work cut out for us.  I'm looking forward to the adventure.  

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

No Crying in Baseball!

Funny kid.  We named him pudge.

Monday, June 8, 2009

New Pics of a Growing Boy!

Calvin received a shot today.  In my mind this is the picture of the scene in the doctors office.
1.  Needle enters leg
2.  Calvin leg shoots straight out
3.  Calvin's face turns purple
4.  Intense screaming ensued
5.  Daddy wanted to punch the doctor!

Here are some more pictures of Calvin.  My favorite is the one where he is covering his face because he hates to have the lights on sometimes.  

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

the men in my life...

Well...this week is a big week for our family.  Drew and I have been married two years today:)  Seems just like yesterday I was stepping into my wedding dress so excited to marry the groom of my dreams.  Life has been awesome every day since then.  He's my best friend, the love of my life, and my rock on the days life is more than rocky:)  I could not do life without him.  I am so thankful for the Godly man the Lord brought into my life.  And I wouldn't change one thing about the past two years.  I seriously live with the greatest man I know.  
And our little man aka Drew and I have began calling him for no turning one month on Saturday.  He is such a joy to hold, cuddle with, and listen to him scream his face off:)  We have had a rich marriage and Calvin is such a joy and blessing from our Faithful Father.  I can't wait until his wedding day.  I'm praying for her already and I'm taking tons of humiliating pictures.  (I do have a hint that the bride's name may be Hannah..hehe)
Gotta go feed the 9 pds. baby boy.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The simple adventures of a new mom:)

WOW!!!  The past 3 weeks have been a blur and full of many tears, emotions, and changes.  Our little man will be 3 weeks old tomorrow.  I still am getting used to the fact that Drew and I have someone else in the house and someone else to get ready and take care of!!  When we go places I almost feel like I need to turn around every second and make sure Cal has not disappeared.  He is such a gift from the Lord.  I can not believe Drew and I had any part in making him.  He looks just like Drew.  For those of you who have seen him you know it is true.  If he didn't have dark hair you might not even be able to tell I'm the mommy!  
My world has so been rocked the past few weeks.  Drew and I are very used to being by ourselves, going when we want to, etc.  I'm at home now and have a little 8 pound son that depends on me for his every need.  My life revolves around a 3 hour cycle of eat, waketime, sleep.  I have been sanctified so much these past 3 fact probably more than I have been my whole entire life!!  I need Thee every hour has taken on a whole new meaning to me.  It would be impossible to wake up joyful at 3 a.m. for yet another feeding without the hope of our Lord.  He has been so good to me these past few weeks.  My prayer life has tripled.  My need of Him is ever before my face.  My sinfulness is way more evident.  My reliance upon Him has been sure.  So, I'm very thankful for motherhood.  I am falling more in love each day with the little one who is asleep right now.  And my Heavenly Father is ever before me teaching me how to do this.  I sit at His precious feet pleading for wisdom as His child as I take care of the child He has given me.  WOW!!! What an awesome 3 weeks.  God is so good and my son is so adorable!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Seeing marriage as war

This article is really great. I have believed this with all of my heart since we have been married. God was incredibly gracious to me in allowing Drew and I to sit under a pastor at a very young age that brought these truths to life. I sat in counseling sessions and prepared myself with God's grace for marriage. I've been married for a very very short 2 years now. Seriously, Drew is the most humble, gracious man I know. I believe in a faithful, loving God. BUT MARRIAGE IS STILL HARD!!! We struggle. Everyday Drew and I struggle and we fall short of God's picture of marriage everyday...and we know it. And everyday Drew and I see the grace of God all around us. In our repentance and reconciliation. We are constantly pulling one another back in front of the cross. Both of us are quick to stray from the grace we know to be true. So, we are constantly at war. At war not with each other but for each other. He knows (and he really does) that I need to be sanctified and I know thats true about him to. We need Jesus every single second. We must fight first in our homes. We must hold the marriage covenant high. This is truly how we fight divorce, brokeness, and the thought that homosexual behavior is normal. We must also fight for our brothers and sisters. It's very hard to fight for the church when your family life is a wreck.
I need to focus on Jesus every morning. See His glory and how he saved this wretched sinner. Then it becomes a lot easier to consider Drew more important than me. To understand he is not the issue but this wicked heart is. And then I can also consider everyone around me as more important. Even seventh grade hormonal students:)

I must first above all else fight my sin and honor Jesus as Lord of my life. I'm so thankful for Drew. I need his help with this. And I'm so thankful that he is faithful to the task. Even when he drinks the last sip of water out of my water bottle and I'm crazily pregnant and it's 80 degrees outside. Because hey, what's this saying about my my thirst my god?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A new chapter

Drew and I went to the doctor yesterday. We officially received the "any day now" news. Which I am well aware can mean in 5 minutes or in three weeks:) That's part of the beauty here no earthly being can tell women when or why birth begins. We have all the essentials packed in a bag for 3...which is so weird. The car seat sets in our living room with cute little, dangly toys that he won't play with at first but I just love looking at them. Calvin's diaper bag is fully stocked. Drew is being adorable and quite funny. I get the same question every morning....Are you feeling you think maybe it will be today? I have had to break it to him that I have no radar on when Calvin will make his appearance. I have felt fine and awake almost everyday of the pregnancy, so I'm not expecting to notice a surge of energy.
So, our wonderful pregnancy is coming to a close. Probably not today but sometime in the next 3 weeks. 9 amazing months of being able to feel a little human grow right in my belly. 9 months of dreaming what he will look like and praising God for the word healthy. As it comes to a close a little part of me thinks where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was holding a pregnancy stick in front of Drew's face trying to convince him that we were pregnant. Now he's at my belly multiple times a day exclaiming to Calvin that he is ready to see him. There are times that I am really going to miss. Like playing with the little moving object in my belly. Feeling those precious little baby kicks all day long. Drew constantly poking at him to wake him up. Praying over my belly. Knowing that every night he is going to get hiccups as soon as I lay down. It really had been a great 9 months of getting to know our little one in the womb. But it's time to meet him now. To welcome our little man into the world and for our lives to be changed forever. Our home of two will soon officially become 3. So, hello to three weeks of waiting and to the question "Are you still pregnant?"

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's a window in the world...

Disclaimer: I stole the title from an Andrew Peterson song that speaks to things we see in a day that point us to a greater reality that there is an eternity.

I was at Seminary yesterday riding the bike and listening to music while Drew was in class. When I'm there I sometimes see this older couple come in. Today for some reason I became a little bit of a people watcher and almost cried. The couple is probably in their late 70's and they come quite often to the Seminary to work out. I have no idea their names or their story. I observed the couple walking in hand in hand. The women going to the eliptical and the man heading for the track to walk. The track is above the work out room. Each time he would make a lap you would see him peeking down to make sure his wife was fine. He then came down stairs. They used the machines together. Each time he would adjust the machine for his wife. They very rarely spoke a word while working out. She knew that he would adjust the weight for her so she would stand by and then get on the machine and do her crunches or leg presses. After a few reps on a couple of the machines they got up joined hands again and walked out. First, it is seriously impressive that they are still working out. Second, their love was totally obvious. I wondered afterwards why I was so struck by their actions. Love is action. It's not merely in words. We often here "I love you" but it is more rare to see it displayed before our eyes. Words are easy, actions speak. There is a part of me that loves real love stories like this one. I believe it's because I got to see a window today. When marriage is displayed well it is beautiful. When Christian love is displayed well it is beautiful. I need to be reminded of how different the children of God should look. It was so comforting to see an couple who I assume have been married for many years working as a team, displaying love in the simplest ways to all those around them. I need more of these windows and I need to become a window more often.

Also, while exercising I thought about Easter. What a time of year to reflect on the glory and insanity of the cross. It should seem unbelievable to our ears that the perfect Son of God bore the wrath of God to redeem sinners. To redeem me, to redeem you. What love. How deep the Father's love for us. We need to be meditating on the goodness and reality that we serve a King who bore our sin and ROSE!!! He is risen indeed. We serve a living Lord who was not held down by death. He is our victory. He is our only hope. He is our crucified and RISEN Lord. Oh that we would not take the cross for granted. To see the blood of Christ as precious. To hold the fact that he bore our punishment as all we have. To live in light of Him being RISEN. To celebrate the empty tomb. To understand what this all means. Help us Lord. Prepare us for Sunday. Prepare us to celebrate. Bring revival among your land. For we so need it Lord. To understand what the death and reserection means. And what we were left here to do. May we be so close to the cross this week that we walk around with blood spots from our Lord on our faces.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

WOW!!! It's April:)

Well....what have we been doing lately??  We've been getting our nest ready for the little one!  The baby's room is now decorated.  We have baby clothes up past our eyeballs.  We have a diaper changing stations set up.  Our precious bassinett is so cute.  I go into the room everyday and just set in the rocker and listen to baby music.   I find my adorable husband just standing in the room staring. I'm officially 9 months pregnant and have to go to the doctor once a week.  So, basically we're missing one thing in our house.  Actually, a person.  We're waiting (Drew is anxiously waiting...poking my stomach many times a day) for James Calvin to get here.  So, I guess we're ready when he is.  Which I'm starting to hope for sooner rather than later.  Since Calvin's new favorite sport is to kick my kidney like a soccer ball.  Drew claims he is getting me back for bouncing him around while exercising.

Drew has been reading a lot of school things lately, preparing for his cantata, and putting off a 15 page research paper:)  I've been reading my Bradley book, Spring cleaning, cooking, and trying to sit down a little more.  I actually haven't dusted this week so I'm getting better about relaxing.  We had a really great Spring Break.  Besides getting little man's room ready we had lots of small dates around, Shiraz, homemade icecream (which made me sick:)   So, we've been pretty boring.  


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Under a week now.....

Next Tuesday....will be huge in my family. My precious daddy will receive his kidney. An organ that most of us take for granted. We've waited patiently for 15 years knowing this day would come. I have had tears in my eyes most of the day thinking about what next week will bring. Daddy has been on dialysis for 4 years now. I can think back and remember finding out that he had PKD. I can remember (barely) his mom in the hospital. I can remember the day I learned my sisters and I have a 50/50 shot of having this thing. I can remember the first time I saw him hooked up to dialysis. I remember all of the sickness he has had related to this disease. I can NEVER remember him complaining...nope not once. My daddy is a one of a kind man. He has four women who adore him and four women that he adores. In my opinion he is the very best daddy in the whole world. I have so much emotion surrounding next week. Years of emotion. I am most of all thankful. I have been in the hospital enough to know that a living kidney donor can be rare. Especially when your three daughters who have the greatest chance of being a match can not be tested. I am so very thankful.

I can not wait to be in Bowling Green. In fact, it's probably the first time since we moved that I just want to be there. I can't wait to hug daddy on Saturday. And to genuinely celebrate and thank the man who is donating his organ to my father. He will never know the gift he is giving. A kidney will hopefully last 15 years. WOW 15 sisters and I will have children, my parents will have so much cherished time together, daddy has lots more to look forward to. So, as much as I remember where we've come from I look forward to the future. A future without a dialysis machine. A future where Daddy can come visit without worrying about when he must be back to the clinic. A future of holding his grandchildren. A future of playing ball and teaching guitar to his grandchilren. A future that he will be God-willing be a part of. Thank you, Jesus. For first, providing new life in Christ for my father and for providing him this opportunity for a kidney. And thank you, Tony. Your act of kindness is unspeakable.

So, we will celebrate this weekend. And we will prayerfully embrace Tuesday as the great hope it is. The Lord is surely good. We will remember how we have anxiously awaited this day and we will celebrate. I'm expecting lots of tears from my family (three daddy's girls=lots of salt water) and of course my high dose of hormones won't help:) Hey, I'm crying for two here.

In conclusion, please join us in prayer. First, pray that God's glory would be displayed in the midst of Vanderbilt hospital. By the way my family loves/cares for each other. I'm a big believer that hospitals offer great opportunities to share the hope we have in Christ with people who are ready for hope. May the Montgomery family do this well. Second, that the kidney would take and Tony and Daddy would both recover quickly and fully. Pray for the doctors hands to be steady and for wisdom to know what is best. Lord, I lay Tuesday before your feet. Trusting that your will is good and perfect. Give us grace to trust.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Baby Calvin

Wow. I can't believe I have posted twice in the same month. My life is consumed right now for preparing for our little bundle of joy. I think about him constantly. Every kick, every movement, every time I have heard his heartbeat makes me want to cry for joy. Life is precious. God is actively involved in my little child's life. I stand amazed. What a precious gift to be able to carry a human life made after the image of our Creator. I am blessed to be a woman. Yes, I haven't' slept a full night in a few months, I have to make more trips to the bathroom than my 1st graders, I'm more tired, the weight gain has not been a blast, and I can't brush my teeth without almost throwing up. All things considered I have loved the past few months. I cherish these months. Calvin is safe within me right now growing his toes, fingers, and vital organs. I have the privilege of being with him 24/7. He's a person not a fetus. I already feel like I know him. He makes me laugh everyday. He has a name. I love my unborn child. I can't wait for him to be here. I can't wait to hold him, to feed him, to love him, to share him with my family and friends. I can't wait to teach him, to watch him grow, to God-willing one day come to know our Lord. He never leaves my mind right now. I'm praying that James Calvin Krutza will impact the world for Jesus Christ. The Lord is constantly reminding me of who Calvin belongs to. I am fully aware that God is growing Him inside me. I'm so thankful the Lord has chosen Drew and I to aid in molding him into the person the Lord desires. I feel my dependence on Christ constantly. I can not grow Calvin. I can not shape his fingers and toes, but I serve the One who does. I can not save Him. I can not sanctify Him and wash his soul clean. But I serve the One who can. So, I set at His feet and beg for the redemption of my unborn child. I am a dependent child. And this is good for me to remember.

I have also been thinking about my love for someone I haven't even met in relation to God's love for His people.

"Can a women forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49: 15-17

I weep while reading these words. These verses are placed in the middle of exile. Yet our gracious Lord reveals hope and His heart. He will not forget us. We are engraved on His hands. What hope this brings. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. I need to remember the deep, deep love of our Savior. He loves His children. He has compassion on us even in the midst of our sin. Our names are written deep in His palms. Thank you Lord for you compassion and remembrance of your children. Make we feel stay firm on the reality of Jesus Christ and may His compassion for us never travel far from our minds. May His love compel us to action.

Thank you James Calvin for teaching me already.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Livin the dream:)

Well, it's been a while since I posted. Drew and I are really enjoying life right now. We love our apartment, our new city, our new church, and our growing baby that's kicking me right now. We have learned so much these past few months. I feel like I look around and wonder how I got to be a big kid all the sudden. I feel like I have jumped from being 3 years old in my daddy's lap to being a pregnant wife. Drew and I are really trying to cherish where we are right now because I want to remember everything about this time. The Lord has really showered blessings upon us this year. We have always tried to do everything together and right now we don't spend more than a few hours a part. We work in the same school, eat lunch together every single day, go to our doctor's appts together. In fact, it feels weird to me to drive by myself. I look back at this year and think about how proud I am to have this wonderful man as my husband. He is a school teacher, a music minister, a full time student, my best friend and husband, and a daddy to a baby that's "still cooking". I have seen the Lord grow him into the most humble and serving man I know. I have a beautiful (although I haven't seen him except in an ultrasound) and fiesty little one growing in me right now. I have a very blessed home. This is not the life I would have choosen 5 or 6 years ago. I would have laughed in your face if you would have told me I would have been married to a Seminary student and had his baby by the time I was 23. But this is the Lord's good plan. I am happy here. I don't need anything else. Every good gift comes from our Lord. I want to be the kind of women that looks around me and sees the wellspring of blessing and knows from whom the fountain flows from. Teach me o Lord to be content in your blessings. To desire Your good will for my life. Remind me how precious and sufficient the blood of Christ is. Move me to action. Move me to praise You constantly. Move me to live a life of worship that is not seperate from service. Don't we need this? Don't we need to sit down away from the bills, the businesses, the stock market, the loud political voices and remember who we belong to. We must remember who bought us and not live life taking everything from our precioius King's hands for granted. Forgive me for my sin here Lord. So, I'm livin the dream. Not as I thought I'd be. Living a plan that's so good for me there is no way I could have planned it.