Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Seeing marriage as war

This article is really great. I have believed this with all of my heart since we have been married. God was incredibly gracious to me in allowing Drew and I to sit under a pastor at a very young age that brought these truths to life. I sat in counseling sessions and prepared myself with God's grace for marriage. I've been married for a very very short 2 years now. Seriously, Drew is the most humble, gracious man I know. I believe in a faithful, loving God. BUT MARRIAGE IS STILL HARD!!! We struggle. Everyday Drew and I struggle and we fall short of God's picture of marriage everyday...and we know it. And everyday Drew and I see the grace of God all around us. In our repentance and reconciliation. We are constantly pulling one another back in front of the cross. Both of us are quick to stray from the grace we know to be true. So, we are constantly at war. At war not with each other but for each other. He knows (and he really does) that I need to be sanctified and I know thats true about him to. We need Jesus every single second. We must fight first in our homes. We must hold the marriage covenant high. This is truly how we fight divorce, brokeness, and the thought that homosexual behavior is normal. We must also fight for our brothers and sisters. It's very hard to fight for the church when your family life is a wreck.
I need to focus on Jesus every morning. See His glory and how he saved this wretched sinner. Then it becomes a lot easier to consider Drew more important than me. To understand he is not the issue but this wicked heart is. And then I can also consider everyone around me as more important. Even seventh grade hormonal students:)

I must first above all else fight my sin and honor Jesus as Lord of my life. I'm so thankful for Drew. I need his help with this. And I'm so thankful that he is faithful to the task. Even when he drinks the last sip of water out of my water bottle and I'm crazily pregnant and it's 80 degrees outside. Because hey, what's this saying about my my thirst my god?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A new chapter

Drew and I went to the doctor yesterday. We officially received the "any day now" news. Which I am well aware can mean in 5 minutes or in three weeks:) That's part of the beauty here no earthly being can tell women when or why birth begins. We have all the essentials packed in a bag for 3...which is so weird. The car seat sets in our living room with cute little, dangly toys that he won't play with at first but I just love looking at them. Calvin's diaper bag is fully stocked. Drew is being adorable and quite funny. I get the same question every morning....Are you feeling you think maybe it will be today? I have had to break it to him that I have no radar on when Calvin will make his appearance. I have felt fine and awake almost everyday of the pregnancy, so I'm not expecting to notice a surge of energy.
So, our wonderful pregnancy is coming to a close. Probably not today but sometime in the next 3 weeks. 9 amazing months of being able to feel a little human grow right in my belly. 9 months of dreaming what he will look like and praising God for the word healthy. As it comes to a close a little part of me thinks where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was holding a pregnancy stick in front of Drew's face trying to convince him that we were pregnant. Now he's at my belly multiple times a day exclaiming to Calvin that he is ready to see him. There are times that I am really going to miss. Like playing with the little moving object in my belly. Feeling those precious little baby kicks all day long. Drew constantly poking at him to wake him up. Praying over my belly. Knowing that every night he is going to get hiccups as soon as I lay down. It really had been a great 9 months of getting to know our little one in the womb. But it's time to meet him now. To welcome our little man into the world and for our lives to be changed forever. Our home of two will soon officially become 3. So, hello to three weeks of waiting and to the question "Are you still pregnant?"

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's a window in the world...

Disclaimer: I stole the title from an Andrew Peterson song that speaks to things we see in a day that point us to a greater reality that there is an eternity.

I was at Seminary yesterday riding the bike and listening to music while Drew was in class. When I'm there I sometimes see this older couple come in. Today for some reason I became a little bit of a people watcher and almost cried. The couple is probably in their late 70's and they come quite often to the Seminary to work out. I have no idea their names or their story. I observed the couple walking in hand in hand. The women going to the eliptical and the man heading for the track to walk. The track is above the work out room. Each time he would make a lap you would see him peeking down to make sure his wife was fine. He then came down stairs. They used the machines together. Each time he would adjust the machine for his wife. They very rarely spoke a word while working out. She knew that he would adjust the weight for her so she would stand by and then get on the machine and do her crunches or leg presses. After a few reps on a couple of the machines they got up joined hands again and walked out. First, it is seriously impressive that they are still working out. Second, their love was totally obvious. I wondered afterwards why I was so struck by their actions. Love is action. It's not merely in words. We often here "I love you" but it is more rare to see it displayed before our eyes. Words are easy, actions speak. There is a part of me that loves real love stories like this one. I believe it's because I got to see a window today. When marriage is displayed well it is beautiful. When Christian love is displayed well it is beautiful. I need to be reminded of how different the children of God should look. It was so comforting to see an couple who I assume have been married for many years working as a team, displaying love in the simplest ways to all those around them. I need more of these windows and I need to become a window more often.

Also, while exercising I thought about Easter. What a time of year to reflect on the glory and insanity of the cross. It should seem unbelievable to our ears that the perfect Son of God bore the wrath of God to redeem sinners. To redeem me, to redeem you. What love. How deep the Father's love for us. We need to be meditating on the goodness and reality that we serve a King who bore our sin and ROSE!!! He is risen indeed. We serve a living Lord who was not held down by death. He is our victory. He is our only hope. He is our crucified and RISEN Lord. Oh that we would not take the cross for granted. To see the blood of Christ as precious. To hold the fact that he bore our punishment as all we have. To live in light of Him being RISEN. To celebrate the empty tomb. To understand what this all means. Help us Lord. Prepare us for Sunday. Prepare us to celebrate. Bring revival among your land. For we so need it Lord. To understand what the death and reserection means. And what we were left here to do. May we be so close to the cross this week that we walk around with blood spots from our Lord on our faces.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

WOW!!! It's April:)

Well....what have we been doing lately??  We've been getting our nest ready for the little one!  The baby's room is now decorated.  We have baby clothes up past our eyeballs.  We have a diaper changing stations set up.  Our precious bassinett is so cute.  I go into the room everyday and just set in the rocker and listen to baby music.   I find my adorable husband just standing in the room staring. I'm officially 9 months pregnant and have to go to the doctor once a week.  So, basically we're missing one thing in our house.  Actually, a person.  We're waiting (Drew is anxiously waiting...poking my stomach many times a day) for James Calvin to get here.  So, I guess we're ready when he is.  Which I'm starting to hope for sooner rather than later.  Since Calvin's new favorite sport is to kick my kidney like a soccer ball.  Drew claims he is getting me back for bouncing him around while exercising.

Drew has been reading a lot of school things lately, preparing for his cantata, and putting off a 15 page research paper:)  I've been reading my Bradley book, Spring cleaning, cooking, and trying to sit down a little more.  I actually haven't dusted this week so I'm getting better about relaxing.  We had a really great Spring Break.  Besides getting little man's room ready we had lots of small dates around, Shiraz, homemade icecream (which made me sick:)   So, we've been pretty boring.