Thursday, April 29, 2010

I stand amazed

Currently, I am sitting in my lawn chair in the front yard;)  Soaking in the sun and typing a blog.  Cal and I just got back from a little run and he is sleeping(good boy.)  Being a stay at home mommy has it's perks.  
We are nearing the first birthday of our little man.  A year ago today, I went to the doctor and was pretty discouraged b/c I was a week overdue!!  The doctor wanted to induce today(a year ago.)  I begged for one more week.  I was a hugely fate preggo lady and I was having to deal with annoying 8th graders.  Today I sit here a totally different person.  I have learned so much from our bundle of joy.  I sit here a much more sanctified mommy.  I know what self sacrifice means a whole lot more than I did last year.  And I know what it means to love a human that can't do anything to declare his love to you.  And at times seems to dislike me very much.  
Here we year later.  Drew and I's lives are so much better.  Our marriage is so much better.  We would not return to a year ago.We love raising Calvin and can't wait for more little ones made in the image of our Creator to come along.  It is a heavy task.  At times it is a frustrating and mentally draining task.  But isn't everything good hard sometimes?  It's soo worth it.  We're totally in love with our walking, babbling, loving, happy, little boy.  We stand in awe of our gracious Creator.  We don't deserve our little blessing.  But we're overjoyed for this year and we will cherish every memory.  I went into this year wanting to enjoy every moment.  And I have been blessed to stay at home and not miss one thing.  And the Lord has graciously allowed us to enjoy Calvin.  
We got home from our walk today.  What a beautiful day.  I told Calvin all about the God of the sky and how He is Calvin's Creator too.  And how much God loves Him.  And how much Mommy and Daddy pray he will surrender soon to Him.  I told him about Jesus and how I wouldn't give Cal over to anyone.  But God the Father in His infinite mercy gave His Son.  For Mommy and Daddy and for Calvin and for His unborn siblings.  And I told Him that Mommy and Daddy believe in this God just like we believe the sun rises in the morning and that we believe His so good and all satisfying.  And we pray to live this out in front of Cal his whole life.  And we pray Cal comes to believe these things too.
We got home from our wonderful walk.  I took my little blessing out of the stroller and watched him toddle around the yard.  Picking up sticks and pointing and saying "cat."  (He knows the cat is outside. But it was nowhere to be found.) He turned and said momma while clapping his hands and grinning from ear to ear. I remembered bringing him home from the hospital.  A screaming 7 pd. alien.  I remember every single new trick he has learned.  With tears streaming down my face I bent down and told Cal just how much mommy loved him and just how proud I was of him.  I just stood amazed and watched our little baby who has turned into a little pre-toddler.  The best year of our lives so far.  And I can't wait to see what the rest of our journey holds.