Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Under a week now.....

Next Tuesday....will be huge in my family. My precious daddy will receive his kidney. An organ that most of us take for granted. We've waited patiently for 15 years knowing this day would come. I have had tears in my eyes most of the day thinking about what next week will bring. Daddy has been on dialysis for 4 years now. I can think back and remember finding out that he had PKD. I can remember (barely) his mom in the hospital. I can remember the day I learned my sisters and I have a 50/50 shot of having this thing. I can remember the first time I saw him hooked up to dialysis. I remember all of the sickness he has had related to this disease. I can NEVER remember him complaining...nope not once. My daddy is a one of a kind man. He has four women who adore him and four women that he adores. In my opinion he is the very best daddy in the whole world. I have so much emotion surrounding next week. Years of emotion. I am most of all thankful. I have been in the hospital enough to know that a living kidney donor can be rare. Especially when your three daughters who have the greatest chance of being a match can not be tested. I am so very thankful.

I can not wait to be in Bowling Green. In fact, it's probably the first time since we moved that I just want to be there. I can't wait to hug daddy on Saturday. And to genuinely celebrate and thank the man who is donating his organ to my father. He will never know the gift he is giving. A kidney will hopefully last 15 years. WOW 15 years....my sisters and I will have children, my parents will have so much cherished time together, daddy has lots more to look forward to. So, as much as I remember where we've come from I look forward to the future. A future without a dialysis machine. A future where Daddy can come visit without worrying about when he must be back to the clinic. A future of holding his grandchildren. A future of playing ball and teaching guitar to his grandchilren. A future that he will be God-willing be a part of. Thank you, Jesus. For first, providing new life in Christ for my father and for providing him this opportunity for a kidney. And thank you, Tony. Your act of kindness is unspeakable.

So, we will celebrate this weekend. And we will prayerfully embrace Tuesday as the great hope it is. The Lord is surely good. We will remember how we have anxiously awaited this day and we will celebrate. I'm expecting lots of tears from my family (three daddy's girls=lots of salt water) and of course my high dose of hormones won't help:) Hey, I'm crying for two here.

In conclusion, please join us in prayer. First, pray that God's glory would be displayed in the midst of Vanderbilt hospital. By the way my family loves/cares for each other. I'm a big believer that hospitals offer great opportunities to share the hope we have in Christ with people who are ready for hope. May the Montgomery family do this well. Second, that the kidney would take and Tony and Daddy would both recover quickly and fully. Pray for the doctors hands to be steady and for wisdom to know what is best. Lord, I lay Tuesday before your feet. Trusting that your will is good and perfect. Give us grace to trust.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Baby Calvin

Wow. I can't believe I have posted twice in the same month. My life is consumed right now for preparing for our little bundle of joy. I think about him constantly. Every kick, every movement, every time I have heard his heartbeat makes me want to cry for joy. Life is precious. God is actively involved in my little child's life. I stand amazed. What a precious gift to be able to carry a human life made after the image of our Creator. I am blessed to be a woman. Yes, I haven't' slept a full night in a few months, I have to make more trips to the bathroom than my 1st graders, I'm more tired, the weight gain has not been a blast, and I can't brush my teeth without almost throwing up. All things considered I have loved the past few months. I cherish these months. Calvin is safe within me right now growing his toes, fingers, and vital organs. I have the privilege of being with him 24/7. He's a person not a fetus. I already feel like I know him. He makes me laugh everyday. He has a name. I love my unborn child. I can't wait for him to be here. I can't wait to hold him, to feed him, to love him, to share him with my family and friends. I can't wait to teach him, to watch him grow, to God-willing one day come to know our Lord. He never leaves my mind right now. I'm praying that James Calvin Krutza will impact the world for Jesus Christ. The Lord is constantly reminding me of who Calvin belongs to. I am fully aware that God is growing Him inside me. I'm so thankful the Lord has chosen Drew and I to aid in molding him into the person the Lord desires. I feel my dependence on Christ constantly. I can not grow Calvin. I can not shape his fingers and toes, but I serve the One who does. I can not save Him. I can not sanctify Him and wash his soul clean. But I serve the One who can. So, I set at His feet and beg for the redemption of my unborn child. I am a dependent child. And this is good for me to remember.

I have also been thinking about my love for someone I haven't even met in relation to God's love for His people.

"Can a women forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49: 15-17

I weep while reading these words. These verses are placed in the middle of exile. Yet our gracious Lord reveals hope and His heart. He will not forget us. We are engraved on His hands. What hope this brings. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. I need to remember the deep, deep love of our Savior. He loves His children. He has compassion on us even in the midst of our sin. Our names are written deep in His palms. Thank you Lord for you compassion and remembrance of your children. Make we feel stay firm on the reality of Jesus Christ and may His compassion for us never travel far from our minds. May His love compel us to action.

Thank you James Calvin for teaching me already.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Livin the dream:)

Well, it's been a while since I posted. Drew and I are really enjoying life right now. We love our apartment, our new city, our new church, and our growing baby that's kicking me right now. We have learned so much these past few months. I feel like I look around and wonder how I got to be a big kid all the sudden. I feel like I have jumped from being 3 years old in my daddy's lap to being a pregnant wife. Drew and I are really trying to cherish where we are right now because I want to remember everything about this time. The Lord has really showered blessings upon us this year. We have always tried to do everything together and right now we don't spend more than a few hours a part. We work in the same school, eat lunch together every single day, go to our doctor's appts together. In fact, it feels weird to me to drive by myself. I look back at this year and think about how proud I am to have this wonderful man as my husband. He is a school teacher, a music minister, a full time student, my best friend and husband, and a daddy to a baby that's "still cooking". I have seen the Lord grow him into the most humble and serving man I know. I have a beautiful (although I haven't seen him except in an ultrasound) and fiesty little one growing in me right now. I have a very blessed home. This is not the life I would have choosen 5 or 6 years ago. I would have laughed in your face if you would have told me I would have been married to a Seminary student and had his baby by the time I was 23. But this is the Lord's good plan. I am happy here. I don't need anything else. Every good gift comes from our Lord. I want to be the kind of women that looks around me and sees the wellspring of blessing and knows from whom the fountain flows from. Teach me o Lord to be content in your blessings. To desire Your good will for my life. Remind me how precious and sufficient the blood of Christ is. Move me to action. Move me to praise You constantly. Move me to live a life of worship that is not seperate from service. Don't we need this? Don't we need to sit down away from the bills, the businesses, the stock market, the loud political voices and remember who we belong to. We must remember who bought us and not live life taking everything from our precioius King's hands for granted. Forgive me for my sin here Lord. So, I'm livin the dream. Not as I thought I'd be. Living a plan that's so good for me there is no way I could have planned it.