My heart is breaking for you

Gather Round, Ye Children Come Listen to the Old, Old Story.........

God made man in His image.  Adam and Eve lived with God in perfect unity.  They ate freely from the tree of Life.  Adam and Eve walked with God.  The reality of God was before their faces.  Adam and Eve rebelled against their Creator and the lover of their souls.  Adam and Eve  were cast out of the garden.  They could no longer eat from the tree of Life.  Death, terror, murder, anxiety, rape, hunger entered the world.  The horror Adam and Eve must have felt can not be thought of.  They remembered what they had left and they knew they must raise their children in this fallen world.  We are the sons of Adam and Eve.  Far removed from the garden.  We still live in a fallen world.  We read the stories of the priests offering sacrifices for the sins of the people.  We see the picture from early on in Genesis that blood must be paid for sins.  Sin must be punished.  God in His great mercy sent His Son to redeem His children back to Himself.  His Son came, lived a perfect life,  took on the sins of all those who would believe, He died, but on the third day, HE ROSE.  He rose victorious over sin.  God's children can now return to Him.  No more would the blood of animals be needed.  The blood of Christ paid the penalty in full.  For everyone who would repent and believe new life is offered.  The children of God now have full access to the true of life once more through the blood of Christ.  How good is this story, how true is this story.  I forget this story.  I take this story for granted.  I forget it when I go to sleep at night.  Won't you remind me in the morning.  Won't you remind me of reality?  The reality that Christ is truly Risen and seated at the Right hand of God the Father.  That we serving a living Christ, a loving Christ.  

We must get back to the basics.  Scripture is true.  The story that God has penned really does penetrate hearts and transform sinners.  I need no other knowledge outside of the saving knowledge of God's word.  Is the story making a difference in your life?  Is it making a difference in my life?  Do I daily remember the story?  It tells me all I need to know:  where I came from, where I am now, and where I am headed.  

We get into trouble when we leave the story.  When we venture beyond the Word.  Philosophy will not save the soul.  The gospel that I make up or even the one I believe won't save the soul.  The gospel of Jesus Christ, found in the inspired Word of God will save the soul.  

Don't forsake the Word of God.  Don't venture beyond it's pages.  To the seminarian who spends all day huddled over a book, who can recite the 5 points of Calvinism but can't remember the last time he/she shared the gospel....return to the pages of Scripture.  We are called to action.  To the postmodern believer...STOP, return to the literal, inspired Word of God.  Don't forsake truth.  Don't by into Satan's lies that all roads lead to the same place or the notion that God will let everyone in.  Read the pages of Scripture.  Cling to the story, forsake lies, be moved to action.  Scream at the top of your lungs like the prophet Ezekiel..."Why would you die O man, why would you die."

I have often found that people tend to cling to one verse of Scripture.  I do believe this is beneficial.  But how much more beneficial to cling to the story as a whole.  We need the whole story.  Example:  If you go on visit someone in the hospital.  Don't run in with Romans 8:28...they are living this verse...in fact there hearts probably ring truer with the truth of this verse than yours.  Take the story.  The reason why sickness feels so wrong is because we were made for eternity.  We weren't meant for sickness.  Sickness is a result of the fall.  But God has redeemed and has a purpose even in sickness.  Our bodies will be raised one day.  Our souls have been remade.  Now we cry, death where is your sting.  Because we are headed back to Eden.  This is reality....Christ is victorious even over sickness.

I love the song below:  Remember it's true.  Live life in the reality of Jesus Christ...in the story He has written.  Tell yourself it's true..

In your heart you hope it's true
Though you hold no expectation
In the deepest part of you
there's an open hesitation

But it's true
Kingdoms and crowns
The God who came down
To find you

"This is my season."

A mentor of mine told me while I was pregnant "Enjoy your season.  It's short and enjoy it."  What she was meaning of course is that this little boy I was about ready to give birth to would grow quickly.  And that I had a window or season for me to be the most central person in his life.  I remember these words daily.  It's why I decided to not go back to work even though money would be tight.  This is my season.  It will be for some time.  But I am aware that the day will come when I will release the arrow that I sweated over into the world.  I pray for the woman he will marry daily.  His life is before my eyes.  I pray for a balance of mothering that will allow me to love him deeply but give him up joyfully.  I look into these big blue eyes and see such a future.  A future of standing behind him rooting him on.  Of loving my son unconditionally.  Of picking him up when he falls.  Of guiding his life.  By grace pointing him to the cross.  Of one day by grace seeing him bow His knee to King Jesus.  

I can see it in mothers eyes when I walk past.  Eyes of remembering when they held their children as infants.  Longing eyes that want to remember what it was like to be a new mom.   Eyes that have proudly watch their children age.  I see through their eyes to hearts that have stored up precious memories of their children.  I think it's why all mothers love to hold newborn babies.  

I pray for no regrets here.  I pray to savor every second.  To cherish every moment.  To never wish him to be older or to be at the next stage of parenting.  "This is my season."  I refuse to let it pass by without notice.  I will store up my memories and understand the treasures they are.  I will pray him through every step of his life God-willing.  And one day by grace I will be ready to let him go with no regrets.  The "this is my season" advice is one of the best pieces of advice I have received.  I'm actively storing away memories of him.  The way he smiles first thing in the morning.  The way he lovingly looks at Drew and I.  The precious face he makes when Drew showers him.  The way he kicks his legs when he gets excited.  Memories of him nursing.  The first time he rolled over, the first time him laughed, etc. 

We took Cal swimming yesterday.  It was SO much fun.  He loved it!  Didn't cry at all.  I even put him almost all the way under.  He looked at me like "I trust you Mom."  I personally believe we have the most adorable baby in the world:)  Have I said yet that I absolutely LOVE staying home.  Best job I have ever had!  I'm so thankful that I'm able to stay home this year.  

wow...i can't believe it's almost AUGUST!!

Where has the summer gone????  Can you believe it's almost August??  I'm sitting here looking at my hubby prepare for a new school year.  It seems like just yesterday we were weathering the ice storm and my belly was huge.  We were longing for summer to be here and to meet our little squirt.  Now, the summer is almost over and I can't imagine life without Baby Cal.  We have had absolutely the BEST summer ever.  We have spent so much time together.  Had tons of walks, tons of late nights, and really been blessed to have been able to have so much time to get used to our house of 3.  Drew and I have been able to watch our son grow from a 7 pound squirt to a 16 pd. chunk.  We are so in love with him.  We fight over who gets to go in a get him up to eat.  We both love how cute and snuggly he is when you pick him up...we both want to be the one who gets the first smile after a long nap.  Our friends (Annie and Eli) had a precious baby girl a few days ago...who will one day be my daughter in law:)  She is so cute.  We both couldn't believe how little she was.  I still think of Calvin as being a few days old.

He's 3 months old...that is so INSANE!!!!  He rolls over and smile and coos.  He has just started laughing.  I adore this age.  I love it more and more every day.  I love being a momma.  And I love watching Drew be a Daddy.  He is such a natural.  We have approached everything in our marriage as teamwork and parenting has been no different.  We have grown even closer and fallen more in love over these past 3 months.  There is no way I could do this without him.  I am so excited about our life together and one day meeting the rest of our babies:)

whew...the hardest work of all time:)

Well...Baby Cal got his shots today.  Two shots one in each leg.  Daddy laughed...mommy picked him right up and tried to comfort him.  So weird that you take your healthy baby into the doctor and leave with screaming and fussy.  He has continued the fussiness:(  But he is snuggling with me..which little Calvin is usually very independent.  SO, I am enjoying that.  

I can't believe how our lives have changed these last 9 weeks.  We have gone from complaining and not being able to function on less than 9 hours of restful sleep to having a party and feeling like I could run a marathon on 5 hours of sleep.  Our conversations use to revolve around the latest happenings in the world now we talk about how many or how big Cal's last poopie was:)  We would pick up and go whenever we wanted now all the entertainment we need is laying on the Poppy smiling back at us.  Our nightly walks have become our "big" outing.  Our proudest moments the past few months have been the doctor saying good job or the lady at the grocery counter announcing how handsome he is.  Everything is different...I mean everything!  Some days I cry right along with Cal.  Some days I just hold him wishing he would stay this small forever.  Some days I cry out for him to be old enough to take care of himself.  It's a whirlwind.  It's stinkin hard.  It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.  We fail...we fail bad every single day.  We love it...we love him.  We rely on each other.  We rely on grace.  We rely totally on Jesus and when we begin to move from the cross our failures bring us right back.  Calvin, outside of Daddy and Jesus there is no one I love more.  I'll gladly give up everything we did before, every moment of silence, ever hour of precious sleep to have you in our lives.  We love our little man and he is teaching us SOO much.  I'm getting a little glimpse of what selfless love means.  He may need me to change his diaper, to get out of bed, to feed him, to comfort him, but I need him so much more.  Pray for this stay at home mommy.  Pray that I would enjoy every single moment of this stage.  That I won't wish it away.  Pray that I look more like Jesus through learning how to be a parent.  Pray that our marriage, our home, our hearts bring our King great glory.  

I'll have Drew post some pics of Cal Cal..he is getting so big...13 pounds, 24 inches.  He smiles so much.  He does the cutest things.  He makes himself known by cooing all the time.  He likes his bed and doesn't want to be held when he's tired.  We are starting to see his personality shine through...and if you know Drew and I well then pray for his stubborn little soul:)  We're going to have our work cut out for us.  I'm looking forward to the adventure.  

No Crying in Baseball!

Funny kid.  We named him pudge.

New Pics of a Growing Boy!

Calvin received a shot today.  In my mind this is the picture of the scene in the doctors office.

1.  Needle enters leg

2.  Calvin leg shoots straight out

3.  Calvin's face turns purple

4.  Intense screaming ensued

5.  Daddy wanted to punch the doctor!

Here are some more pictures of Calvin.  My favorite is the one where he is covering his face because he hates to have the lights on sometimes.  

Drew

the men in my life...

Well...this week is a big week for our family.  Drew and I have been married two years today:)  Seems just like yesterday I was stepping into my wedding dress so excited to marry the groom of my dreams.  Life has been awesome every day since then.  He's my best friend, the love of my life, and my rock on the days life is more than rocky:)  I could not do life without him.  I am so thankful for the Godly man the Lord brought into my life.  And I wouldn't change one thing about the past two years.  I seriously live with the greatest man I know.  

And our little man aka Bubbie...as Drew and I have began calling him for no reason...is turning one month on Saturday.  He is such a joy to hold, cuddle with, and listen to him scream his face off:)  We have had a rich marriage and Calvin is such a joy and blessing from our Faithful Father.  I can't wait until his wedding day.  I'm praying for her already and I'm taking tons of humiliating pictures.  (I do have a hint that the bride's name may be Hannah..hehe)

Gotta go feed the 9 pds. baby boy.