http://www.onenewsnow.com/Journal/editorial.aspx?id=401588
This article is really great. I have believed this with all of my heart since we have been married. God was incredibly gracious to me in allowing Drew and I to sit under a pastor at a very young age that brought these truths to life. I sat in counseling sessions and prepared myself with God's grace for marriage. I've been married for a very very short 2 years now. Seriously, Drew is the most humble, gracious man I know. I believe in a faithful, loving God. BUT MARRIAGE IS STILL HARD!!! We struggle. Everyday Drew and I struggle and we fall short of God's picture of marriage everyday...and we know it. And everyday Drew and I see the grace of God all around us. In our repentance and reconciliation. We are constantly pulling one another back in front of the cross. Both of us are quick to stray from the grace we know to be true. So, we are constantly at war. At war not with each other but for each other. He knows (and he really does) that I need to be sanctified and I know thats true about him to. We need Jesus every single second. We must fight first in our homes. We must hold the marriage covenant high. This is truly how we fight divorce, brokeness, and the thought that homosexual behavior is normal. We must also fight for our brothers and sisters. It's very hard to fight for the church when your family life is a wreck.
I need to focus on Jesus every morning. See His glory and how he saved this wretched sinner. Then it becomes a lot easier to consider Drew more important than me. To understand he is not the issue but this wicked heart is. And then I can also consider everyone around me as more important. Even seventh grade hormonal students:)
I must first above all else fight my sin and honor Jesus as Lord of my life. I'm so thankful for Drew. I need his help with this. And I'm so thankful that he is faithful to the task. Even when he drinks the last sip of water out of my water bottle and I'm crazily pregnant and it's 80 degrees outside. Because hey, what's this saying about my heart....is my thirst my god?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A new chapter
Drew and I went to the doctor yesterday. We officially received the "any day now" news. Which I am well aware can mean in 5 minutes or in three weeks:) That's part of the beauty here no earthly being can tell women when or why birth begins. We have all the essentials packed in a bag for 3...which is so weird. The car seat sets in our living room with cute little, dangly toys that he won't play with at first but I just love looking at them. Calvin's diaper bag is fully stocked. Drew is being adorable and quite funny. I get the same question every morning....Are you feeling okay...do you think maybe it will be today? I have had to break it to him that I have no radar on when Calvin will make his appearance. I have felt fine and awake almost everyday of the pregnancy, so I'm not expecting to notice a surge of energy.
So, our wonderful pregnancy is coming to a close. Probably not today but sometime in the next 3 weeks. 9 amazing months of being able to feel a little human grow right in my belly. 9 months of dreaming what he will look like and praising God for the word healthy. As it comes to a close a little part of me thinks where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was holding a pregnancy stick in front of Drew's face trying to convince him that we were pregnant. Now he's at my belly multiple times a day exclaiming to Calvin that he is ready to see him. There are times that I am really going to miss. Like playing with the little moving object in my belly. Feeling those precious little baby kicks all day long. Drew constantly poking at him to wake him up. Praying over my belly. Knowing that every night he is going to get hiccups as soon as I lay down. It really had been a great 9 months of getting to know our little one in the womb. But it's time to meet him now. To welcome our little man into the world and for our lives to be changed forever. Our home of two will soon officially become 3. So, hello to three weeks of waiting and to the question "Are you still pregnant?"
So, our wonderful pregnancy is coming to a close. Probably not today but sometime in the next 3 weeks. 9 amazing months of being able to feel a little human grow right in my belly. 9 months of dreaming what he will look like and praising God for the word healthy. As it comes to a close a little part of me thinks where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was holding a pregnancy stick in front of Drew's face trying to convince him that we were pregnant. Now he's at my belly multiple times a day exclaiming to Calvin that he is ready to see him. There are times that I am really going to miss. Like playing with the little moving object in my belly. Feeling those precious little baby kicks all day long. Drew constantly poking at him to wake him up. Praying over my belly. Knowing that every night he is going to get hiccups as soon as I lay down. It really had been a great 9 months of getting to know our little one in the womb. But it's time to meet him now. To welcome our little man into the world and for our lives to be changed forever. Our home of two will soon officially become 3. So, hello to three weeks of waiting and to the question "Are you still pregnant?"
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
It's a window in the world...
Disclaimer: I stole the title from an Andrew Peterson song that speaks to things we see in a day that point us to a greater reality that there is an eternity.
I was at Seminary yesterday riding the bike and listening to music while Drew was in class. When I'm there I sometimes see this older couple come in. Today for some reason I became a little bit of a people watcher and almost cried. The couple is probably in their late 70's and they come quite often to the Seminary to work out. I have no idea their names or their story. I observed the couple walking in hand in hand. The women going to the eliptical and the man heading for the track to walk. The track is above the work out room. Each time he would make a lap you would see him peeking down to make sure his wife was fine. He then came down stairs. They used the machines together. Each time he would adjust the machine for his wife. They very rarely spoke a word while working out. She knew that he would adjust the weight for her so she would stand by and then get on the machine and do her crunches or leg presses. After a few reps on a couple of the machines they got up joined hands again and walked out. First, it is seriously impressive that they are still working out. Second, their love was totally obvious. I wondered afterwards why I was so struck by their actions. Love is action. It's not merely in words. We often here "I love you" but it is more rare to see it displayed before our eyes. Words are easy, actions speak. There is a part of me that loves real love stories like this one. I believe it's because I got to see a window today. When marriage is displayed well it is beautiful. When Christian love is displayed well it is beautiful. I need to be reminded of how different the children of God should look. It was so comforting to see an couple who I assume have been married for many years working as a team, displaying love in the simplest ways to all those around them. I need more of these windows and I need to become a window more often.
Also, while exercising I thought about Easter. What a time of year to reflect on the glory and insanity of the cross. It should seem unbelievable to our ears that the perfect Son of God bore the wrath of God to redeem sinners. To redeem me, to redeem you. What love. How deep the Father's love for us. We need to be meditating on the goodness and reality that we serve a King who bore our sin and ROSE!!! He is risen indeed. We serve a living Lord who was not held down by death. He is our victory. He is our only hope. He is our crucified and RISEN Lord. Oh that we would not take the cross for granted. To see the blood of Christ as precious. To hold the fact that he bore our punishment as all we have. To live in light of Him being RISEN. To celebrate the empty tomb. To understand what this all means. Help us Lord. Prepare us for Sunday. Prepare us to celebrate. Bring revival among your land. For we so need it Lord. To understand what the death and reserection means. And what we were left here to do. May we be so close to the cross this week that we walk around with blood spots from our Lord on our faces.
I was at Seminary yesterday riding the bike and listening to music while Drew was in class. When I'm there I sometimes see this older couple come in. Today for some reason I became a little bit of a people watcher and almost cried. The couple is probably in their late 70's and they come quite often to the Seminary to work out. I have no idea their names or their story. I observed the couple walking in hand in hand. The women going to the eliptical and the man heading for the track to walk. The track is above the work out room. Each time he would make a lap you would see him peeking down to make sure his wife was fine. He then came down stairs. They used the machines together. Each time he would adjust the machine for his wife. They very rarely spoke a word while working out. She knew that he would adjust the weight for her so she would stand by and then get on the machine and do her crunches or leg presses. After a few reps on a couple of the machines they got up joined hands again and walked out. First, it is seriously impressive that they are still working out. Second, their love was totally obvious. I wondered afterwards why I was so struck by their actions. Love is action. It's not merely in words. We often here "I love you" but it is more rare to see it displayed before our eyes. Words are easy, actions speak. There is a part of me that loves real love stories like this one. I believe it's because I got to see a window today. When marriage is displayed well it is beautiful. When Christian love is displayed well it is beautiful. I need to be reminded of how different the children of God should look. It was so comforting to see an couple who I assume have been married for many years working as a team, displaying love in the simplest ways to all those around them. I need more of these windows and I need to become a window more often.
Also, while exercising I thought about Easter. What a time of year to reflect on the glory and insanity of the cross. It should seem unbelievable to our ears that the perfect Son of God bore the wrath of God to redeem sinners. To redeem me, to redeem you. What love. How deep the Father's love for us. We need to be meditating on the goodness and reality that we serve a King who bore our sin and ROSE!!! He is risen indeed. We serve a living Lord who was not held down by death. He is our victory. He is our only hope. He is our crucified and RISEN Lord. Oh that we would not take the cross for granted. To see the blood of Christ as precious. To hold the fact that he bore our punishment as all we have. To live in light of Him being RISEN. To celebrate the empty tomb. To understand what this all means. Help us Lord. Prepare us for Sunday. Prepare us to celebrate. Bring revival among your land. For we so need it Lord. To understand what the death and reserection means. And what we were left here to do. May we be so close to the cross this week that we walk around with blood spots from our Lord on our faces.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
WOW!!! It's April:)
Drew has been reading a lot of school things lately, preparing for his cantata, and putting off a 15 page research paper:) I've been reading my Bradley book, Spring cleaning, cooking, and trying to sit down a little more. I actually haven't dusted this week so I'm getting better about relaxing. We had a really great Spring Break. Besides getting little man's room ready we had lots of small dates around Louisville...coffee, Shiraz, homemade icecream (which made me sick:) So, we've been pretty boring.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Under a week now.....
Next Tuesday....will be huge in my family. My precious daddy will receive his kidney. An organ that most of us take for granted. We've waited patiently for 15 years knowing this day would come. I have had tears in my eyes most of the day thinking about what next week will bring. Daddy has been on dialysis for 4 years now. I can think back and remember finding out that he had PKD. I can remember (barely) his mom in the hospital. I can remember the day I learned my sisters and I have a 50/50 shot of having this thing. I can remember the first time I saw him hooked up to dialysis. I remember all of the sickness he has had related to this disease. I can NEVER remember him complaining...nope not once. My daddy is a one of a kind man. He has four women who adore him and four women that he adores. In my opinion he is the very best daddy in the whole world. I have so much emotion surrounding next week. Years of emotion. I am most of all thankful. I have been in the hospital enough to know that a living kidney donor can be rare. Especially when your three daughters who have the greatest chance of being a match can not be tested. I am so very thankful.
I can not wait to be in Bowling Green. In fact, it's probably the first time since we moved that I just want to be there. I can't wait to hug daddy on Saturday. And to genuinely celebrate and thank the man who is donating his organ to my father. He will never know the gift he is giving. A kidney will hopefully last 15 years. WOW 15 years....my sisters and I will have children, my parents will have so much cherished time together, daddy has lots more to look forward to. So, as much as I remember where we've come from I look forward to the future. A future without a dialysis machine. A future where Daddy can come visit without worrying about when he must be back to the clinic. A future of holding his grandchildren. A future of playing ball and teaching guitar to his grandchilren. A future that he will be God-willing be a part of. Thank you, Jesus. For first, providing new life in Christ for my father and for providing him this opportunity for a kidney. And thank you, Tony. Your act of kindness is unspeakable.
So, we will celebrate this weekend. And we will prayerfully embrace Tuesday as the great hope it is. The Lord is surely good. We will remember how we have anxiously awaited this day and we will celebrate. I'm expecting lots of tears from my family (three daddy's girls=lots of salt water) and of course my high dose of hormones won't help:) Hey, I'm crying for two here.
In conclusion, please join us in prayer. First, pray that God's glory would be displayed in the midst of Vanderbilt hospital. By the way my family loves/cares for each other. I'm a big believer that hospitals offer great opportunities to share the hope we have in Christ with people who are ready for hope. May the Montgomery family do this well. Second, that the kidney would take and Tony and Daddy would both recover quickly and fully. Pray for the doctors hands to be steady and for wisdom to know what is best. Lord, I lay Tuesday before your feet. Trusting that your will is good and perfect. Give us grace to trust.
I can not wait to be in Bowling Green. In fact, it's probably the first time since we moved that I just want to be there. I can't wait to hug daddy on Saturday. And to genuinely celebrate and thank the man who is donating his organ to my father. He will never know the gift he is giving. A kidney will hopefully last 15 years. WOW 15 years....my sisters and I will have children, my parents will have so much cherished time together, daddy has lots more to look forward to. So, as much as I remember where we've come from I look forward to the future. A future without a dialysis machine. A future where Daddy can come visit without worrying about when he must be back to the clinic. A future of holding his grandchildren. A future of playing ball and teaching guitar to his grandchilren. A future that he will be God-willing be a part of. Thank you, Jesus. For first, providing new life in Christ for my father and for providing him this opportunity for a kidney. And thank you, Tony. Your act of kindness is unspeakable.
So, we will celebrate this weekend. And we will prayerfully embrace Tuesday as the great hope it is. The Lord is surely good. We will remember how we have anxiously awaited this day and we will celebrate. I'm expecting lots of tears from my family (three daddy's girls=lots of salt water) and of course my high dose of hormones won't help:) Hey, I'm crying for two here.
In conclusion, please join us in prayer. First, pray that God's glory would be displayed in the midst of Vanderbilt hospital. By the way my family loves/cares for each other. I'm a big believer that hospitals offer great opportunities to share the hope we have in Christ with people who are ready for hope. May the Montgomery family do this well. Second, that the kidney would take and Tony and Daddy would both recover quickly and fully. Pray for the doctors hands to be steady and for wisdom to know what is best. Lord, I lay Tuesday before your feet. Trusting that your will is good and perfect. Give us grace to trust.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Baby Calvin
Wow. I can't believe I have posted twice in the same month. My life is consumed right now for preparing for our little bundle of joy. I think about him constantly. Every kick, every movement, every time I have heard his heartbeat makes me want to cry for joy. Life is precious. God is actively involved in my little child's life. I stand amazed. What a precious gift to be able to carry a human life made after the image of our Creator. I am blessed to be a woman. Yes, I haven't' slept a full night in a few months, I have to make more trips to the bathroom than my 1st graders, I'm more tired, the weight gain has not been a blast, and I can't brush my teeth without almost throwing up. All things considered I have loved the past few months. I cherish these months. Calvin is safe within me right now growing his toes, fingers, and vital organs. I have the privilege of being with him 24/7. He's a person not a fetus. I already feel like I know him. He makes me laugh everyday. He has a name. I love my unborn child. I can't wait for him to be here. I can't wait to hold him, to feed him, to love him, to share him with my family and friends. I can't wait to teach him, to watch him grow, to God-willing one day come to know our Lord. He never leaves my mind right now. I'm praying that James Calvin Krutza will impact the world for Jesus Christ. The Lord is constantly reminding me of who Calvin belongs to. I am fully aware that God is growing Him inside me. I'm so thankful the Lord has chosen Drew and I to aid in molding him into the person the Lord desires. I feel my dependence on Christ constantly. I can not grow Calvin. I can not shape his fingers and toes, but I serve the One who does. I can not save Him. I can not sanctify Him and wash his soul clean. But I serve the One who can. So, I set at His feet and beg for the redemption of my unborn child. I am a dependent child. And this is good for me to remember.
I have also been thinking about my love for someone I haven't even met in relation to God's love for His people.
"Can a women forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49: 15-17
I weep while reading these words. These verses are placed in the middle of exile. Yet our gracious Lord reveals hope and His heart. He will not forget us. We are engraved on His hands. What hope this brings. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. I need to remember the deep, deep love of our Savior. He loves His children. He has compassion on us even in the midst of our sin. Our names are written deep in His palms. Thank you Lord for you compassion and remembrance of your children. Make we feel stay firm on the reality of Jesus Christ and may His compassion for us never travel far from our minds. May His love compel us to action.
Thank you James Calvin for teaching me already.
I have also been thinking about my love for someone I haven't even met in relation to God's love for His people.
"Can a women forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49: 15-17
I weep while reading these words. These verses are placed in the middle of exile. Yet our gracious Lord reveals hope and His heart. He will not forget us. We are engraved on His hands. What hope this brings. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. I need to remember the deep, deep love of our Savior. He loves His children. He has compassion on us even in the midst of our sin. Our names are written deep in His palms. Thank you Lord for you compassion and remembrance of your children. Make we feel stay firm on the reality of Jesus Christ and may His compassion for us never travel far from our minds. May His love compel us to action.
Thank you James Calvin for teaching me already.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Livin the dream:)
Well, it's been a while since I posted. Drew and I are really enjoying life right now. We love our apartment, our new city, our new church, and our growing baby that's kicking me right now. We have learned so much these past few months. I feel like I look around and wonder how I got to be a big kid all the sudden. I feel like I have jumped from being 3 years old in my daddy's lap to being a pregnant wife. Drew and I are really trying to cherish where we are right now because I want to remember everything about this time. The Lord has really showered blessings upon us this year. We have always tried to do everything together and right now we don't spend more than a few hours a part. We work in the same school, eat lunch together every single day, go to our doctor's appts together. In fact, it feels weird to me to drive by myself. I look back at this year and think about how proud I am to have this wonderful man as my husband. He is a school teacher, a music minister, a full time student, my best friend and husband, and a daddy to a baby that's "still cooking". I have seen the Lord grow him into the most humble and serving man I know. I have a beautiful (although I haven't seen him except in an ultrasound) and fiesty little one growing in me right now. I have a very blessed home. This is not the life I would have choosen 5 or 6 years ago. I would have laughed in your face if you would have told me I would have been married to a Seminary student and had his baby by the time I was 23. But this is the Lord's good plan. I am happy here. I don't need anything else. Every good gift comes from our Lord. I want to be the kind of women that looks around me and sees the wellspring of blessing and knows from whom the fountain flows from. Teach me o Lord to be content in your blessings. To desire Your good will for my life. Remind me how precious and sufficient the blood of Christ is. Move me to action. Move me to praise You constantly. Move me to live a life of worship that is not seperate from service. Don't we need this? Don't we need to sit down away from the bills, the businesses, the stock market, the loud political voices and remember who we belong to. We must remember who bought us and not live life taking everything from our precioius King's hands for granted. Forgive me for my sin here Lord. So, I'm livin the dream. Not as I thought I'd be. Living a plan that's so good for me there is no way I could have planned it.
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